Here I go again on my own....

That business at the bank was just the beginning

Dr. Important: why do all these patients families keep calling my cell phone?  How did they get my cell number? Who could have done this?
Me: I think I saw your number posted in the ladies room.
Dr. Important: blank stare
Me: Oh, you aren't ready for jokes yet.

Me: well, she didn't penetrate, but there was a change in the barium column along the....well that funky area.
Dr. Radiology: Blank stare
Me: That's the new medical term they are using, I think, "That funky area."
Dr. Radiology (a good sport): I see.

Scene...a pregnant me walking down the hall with a now revealed belly...
P.A. Niceguy: oh, I didn't know you were expecting
Me: What? No, I've just been eating a lot of pasta lately.
PA Niceguy: blank stare, awkward silence.
Me (only because I really like him): Just kidding, I am super pregnant.
PA Niceguy: total relief and laughter.

this last one is my new favorite trick. so mean, but such payoff!!

stay tuned...we're going back to the bank tomorrow... and I can't seem to stop. This freedom is intoxicating.

Then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid...

Or maybe I just make it more awesome??
Very exciting new pregnancy experiment in the works. It turns out that pregnancy makes me 1) slaphappy 2) weepy 3) scatterbrained. I was already a little tiny eensy bit 1) filterless.
combined, these forces make me The Queen of Inappropriate. I could awkwardly strike in a bank, grocery or bookstore near you at any time!
So far, it has been awesome. I can't help it, so I have chosen to just roll with it and then laugh.  I think that it may be so bad at times that these are the stories that people tell when they get home...

W: How was your day, honey?
H: Oh, it was fine. The weirdest lady came in though. she was crrrrazy! She said she thought my co-worker wasn't really working from home, but that he was probably eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's and crying while he watched Sixteen Candles. Then she tried to get him to pre-approve her home loan over the phone on the spot. We all laughed and laughed.
W: what a whack job.

Indeed.

so, hopefully, this continues because, besides my now apparent belly (which is gorgeous and allows me to snag awesome parking spots), this is my favorite part so far.

Getting Clean

Some people get pregnant in the face.  I am one of them. Not with added roundness (yet) but with blemishes. yuck. I am supposed to look like a fertility goddess, not a pudgy teenager, right?? So after a prolonged battle with my pregnant face, I bring you my personal skin care review of some of the millions of cleansers I have employed over the past months.  Cleansers are rated on scent, that "oh so clean" feeling, all day effects and acne control.  These can all be bought in the drugstore save one fancy one I got online.
All of them were used with Oil Free Sensitive Skin Neutrogena Moisturizer and my friend, benzoyl peroxide in the morning.

Purpose
Smelliness: Smells a little detergent-y, but clean.
Cleanliness: so clean making that it's actually drying to my fragile preg-o skin.
The day: This really highlights the combination-ness of my skin. so dry all day around my poor eyes and greasy like fries on my chin and nose by 10 am.
Acne Control: nada. No changes or improvements.

CeraVe
Smelliness: virtually scent free. very nonoffensive
Cleanliness: I just don't feel CLEAN. I feel like I just rubbed lotion on my face.
The day: I still feel greasy
Acne Control: I am less dry, but the blckheads are coming out with a vengeance.

Basis
Smelliness: Green and clean. very refreshing, yum!
Cleanliness: I feel Clean at last! my skin feels a little tight, but clean as a whistle
The day: Sadly, the combo skin returns by noon.
Acne Control: a definite decrease in the blackheads, but new acne is still appearing.

MD Forte III (with glycolic acid)
Smelliness: kind of sour, but not upsetting
Cleanliness: Lotion face again.
The day: I feel soft, but not clean. the oiliness continues
Acne Control: decrease in the roughness and inconsistencies in my skin, but still some blackheads and acne

Clean&Clear Morning Burst Skin Brightening Cleanser
Smelliness: lemony fresh and a little sweet
Cleanliness: Ahhhh. I love the little scrubbies that I can feel washing out my pores
The day: Clean! for a long time. I do need  little extra moisture around the eyes.
Acne Control: much better. my blackheads are gone and the new acne s mild when present.

THE PLAN:
Mornings: Clean & Clear Morning Burst followed by my b.p and moisturizer
Nights: basis with some light moisturizer
3x/week: MD forte to break down the dry skin cell layers and keep it smooth

Hope this helps some other pregnant ladies with this struggle!